Too Much One-Way Communication

Posted on March 17, 2011

E-mail is a great convenience, but it’s completely one-way.  This can create havoc in your business infrastructure. Here are some of the biggest e-mail mistakes, most of which can be avoided by the original and most powerful form of communication.

An angry bee hive is very distracted from its work of making honey. One fast way to create an angry upset work team is to have flaming, angry, or confusing e-mails and texts circulating. Once the send button is hit, there’s no stopping it.

Two-way oral Communication Builds Relationships

Face to face is the original and most powerful form of two-way communication. Telephones and video conferencing were built for two-way communication. Both parties can hear attitudes, seek clarification, and adapt to the other party’s emotions and subtext. In the worst case with phones, we get voice mail. That makes it one-way communication, but still, the other party can hear our tone of voice, and we are communicating orally, which is the way most people communicate best.

E-mail is only a one-way, written communication tool. I love e-mail, and it has helped me in business in many ways. But we must keep e-mail in its place. Misused, e-mail can cost thousands of dollars. Here are some of the biggest e-mail mistakes, most of which are avoided by use of the phone.

1. Tackling emotion laden issues via e-mail. Few people have the skill, or take the time to craft a letter or e-mail that properly deals with emotional issues. Most of the time these e-mails offend, and the offended party saves the e-mail so they can be offended over and over again! Then they hit the reply button and return the favor. This is no way to grow relationships.
2. Compounding the confusion by copying the e-mail to lots of people. Not only can you now offend many people at once, but each can understand what you wrote differently, and each can reply to all recipients of the e-mail with their unique misunderstanding, requiring big, long e-mails with clarifications and apologies. Now you’ve offended everyone and wasted their time.
3. Losing the opportunity for chit-chat. Not that I’m the world’s biggest chit-chatter, but on the phone, and in person particularly, you have a chance to be human, to show interest in the other person, or to whine about the weather. This is vital to every relationship, but is usually skipped in e-mail, and doesn’t seem nearly as real in writing.
4. Losing the opportunity to “upsell.” If you are on the sales side, every two-way conversation is a golden opportunity. Maybe it’s to mention how this one product is so hot right now you can hardly make it fast enough.
5. Trying to figure things out in an e-mail. If you are trying to understand something, don’t do it via e-mail with ten cc’s! Some will take your mistaken assumptions for the truth (even though you are clear).

Why Two Way Communication Works So Well

Two-way communication fosters growth of relationships for a number of reasons. A relationship grows when an event or an exchange makes both parties feel better about the relationship.

1. We can hear the immediate reaction from the other person. They can ask questions.
2. We can listen or watch for signs of how they are feeling. Tone of voice, facial expressions, tempo of the conversation, body language – all add immensely to our understanding of the situation and our ability to affect the outcome.
3. We can recover from saying the wrong thing, so misinterpretations will not be repeated (re-read).
4. We can tend to the other person’s emotions or needs immediately. We will have a strong feeling for how the other person came away from the exchange, which is very important.

E-Mail has its uses! Communicating details and facts is a perfect use for one-way communication. Addresses, purchase orders, quick questions, to-do lists, specifications, follow-ups from meetings, and more. One-way communications – e-mail now the most common by far – help get business done when it deals with facts, but never emotions.

Strategies for Mitigation

• Just for five seconds, consider what the best method is before you communicate. Call out poor communication choices whenever you see them.
• Never follow someone else’s bad lead. If you get an e-mail that should have been an in-person conversation, get up and walk over to that person and communicate the right way. Say why you changed channels if appropriate, to help them have better practices.
• It is best to call a quick meeting (in person or via the phone) when appropriate, figure it all out courtesy of two-way communication, then write one carefully drafted e-mail with all the conclusions and facts for everyone to read and save.
• Write and share a communications policy that talks about the right channels to use for communication.
• For continuing offenders, get tough (if they report to you), write them up if needed.

E-mail should never be an automatic choice. If it’s an important relationship you’re nurturing, think about the value of an old fashioned conversation.