Necessary Roughness

Posted on July 11, 2011

Nobody wants to start a fight. Yet in many cases “playing nice” is uncalled for and may indeed hurt your business. Ask yourself these twelve questions before you cross the line.

Being rough with people is out of vogue.  Most of the CEOs and executives I know prefer finesse, persuasion, conflict re-framing, politically correctness, consensus-building and otherwise playing nicely with others.

There are many good reasons for this line of behavior.  We don’t want to get sued. We want the people around us to work from passion, not fear. We don’t want to provoke retaliation. And perhaps most of all, it’s not very fun doing things the people around us hate.

Yet there are times when roughness is required.  When the CEO must put his foot down and take a hard stance.  When being unyielding is the right strategy.  When aggressive behavior is called for.  When some people lose because of the decisions you make.

Consider a board of directors with conflicts of interest — or worse yet — selfish interests.  If the business is to prosper, necessity dictates that some of the board members won’t get their way.  Imagine eight shareholders in a business that is facing competitive challenges, yet they can’t come to a consensus on a course of action.  Picture an executive with long-running dedication to the company who has burned out and isn’t contributing as needed.

When is roughness necessary – in fact the appropriate tactic?  In what circumstances does roughness become unnecessary roughness?

Here are some examples of what might be necessary roughness:

• Disobeying board guidance.
• Acting against a minority interest in your business.
• Punishing a vendor or business partner.
• Cramming down an early investor.
• Firing an executive for missing their numbers.
• Taking advantage of someone’s lack of knowledge.
• Filing a suit—for any number of reasons.
• Yelling and screaming—showing hostility openly.
• Going public with the “dirt” and exposing someone or something.

If you start to think that getting rough might be an option, ask yourself these critical questions, focusing on whether you might become guilty of unnecessary roughness.

1. Can you win?  There is no point in getting rough if you’ll end up the loser.  Getting rough causes bruising, so why inflict pain on yourself (or anyone) if it won’t help you get what you need?

2. Are you pissed?  Starting a fight because you’re angry is usually a bad decision.  Most angry people don’t think well or thoroughly.  Even if aggressive action is called for, angry people don’t plan a good attack strategy.  Cool down and then think it through.

3. If you win the battle, can you win the war?  Few hostile actions have just one round.  You may well win the battle you’ve chosen, but if a war ensues, can you win that too?  Have you looked forward and looked at all your vulnerabilities?  Do you care about the secondary losses you’ll have?  News of your rough play may travel within your community and affect your reputation; how will that affect you and your business down the road?

4. Fighting for fun?  If you truly need to fight to achieve your more important objectives, put your helmet on and go for it.  But fighting for fun, or to prove your point, often causes more damage than good.

5. Other solutions exhausted?  Have you tried other solutions which allow the other side to save face or lose less, while still giving you what you need?  It is amazing what solutions a creative negotiator can find to resolve an impasse.

6. Is it worth the negativity?  For the majority of people, being rough and aggressive burns energy fast, and can put them in a negative frame of mind.  Are you ready for that?  How well do you function with the weight of the battle upon you?

7. Opportunity cost? Spending time and energy doing battle takes time and energy away from positive things.  Have you properly assessed the opportunity cost of the decision?

8. Can you afford it?  Often getting rough means legal bills and other hard costs.  Make sure you can finish what you start.

From my first eight points, you may be thinking I’m not in favor of necessary roughness.  I am in favor, but only when it’s not unnecessary.

For those with a tendency to be passive rather than aggressive, consider these points:

9. Long-term costs?  Have you realistically assessed the cost of being too passive?  Often the target of aggressive action is causing harm to those around them, or to your firm.  Being passive may cause more net damage.

10. Are you setting a dangerous precedent?  Your passivity may set a benchmark that encourages more problem behavior.  Better to fight one battle than a war.

11. Leadership challenge?  Does your lack of action signal to those around you that you’re no longer a capable leader?

12. Losing something valuable?  Assets are hard to come by and often require protection.  Are you letting something precious slip away?

From observation of the CEOs and executives in my circles, I’ve concluded that too many of us are too slow to be rough.  We leave too much money on the table:  we allow too much damage to our company’s mission or our own well being before we get rough.  Being rough is a tactic as valid as many of the others in our tool box, so we must include it in our decision making process each and every time.

Yet most of the CEOs who orbit in my circles – whether as clients or “students of business” in the Alliance of Chief Executives – tend not to be the “take no prisoner” heartless types exemplified by Donald Trump or T. Boone Pickens.  Since few readers of this essay are of that type, I’m not too worried that I am encouraging even more aggressive behavior in the heartless CEOs.

But sometimes business leaders have to be strong; they must play the role of enforcer.  Yet that necessary roughness—if truly necessary—can at times be softened with a velvet glove.  Necessary roughness, when done well and viewed through the lens of time, will be viewed as strength, as fortitude, and as an essential leadership tactic.