Code of Conduct for Relationships

Posted on May 1, 2008

In both my own company and several client companies, we’ve discussed, then written out a code of conduct to help set expectations about how we should treat each other.  Some companies, especially young ones can be rough places to work.  Letting the “roughnecks” run free will destroy the willingness of many other talented people to contribute at all, and many will leave.

CODE OF CONDUCT FOR RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN PEOPLE   May 1, 2008

1. Didn’t Feel Right!  Politeness and diplomacy in all relationships.  No matter how stressed or upset we may be, we act and speak with care and concern about how it will feel to the other person.  Jokes at someone’s expense (whether they are present or not) show contempt and disrespect, are not funny, and are neither polite nor diplomatic.  Ignoring a request or person or responding without regard to their urgency is against the rules.  Come to meetings on time and don’t waste other people’s time–everyone’s busy.
2. No Duck Hunting!  Look for the merit in ideas first, then deal with deficiencies.  Often times new ideas seem all wrong at first glance just because they are new, or because they aren’t yours (not invented here syndrome).  Hold your tongue, point out what you like about the idea, then try to help solve the deficiencies and faults.  Not all new ideas will work, but at least they won’t be shot out of the sky before then have a chance to stimulate thought and progress for the company.
3. Be a Mirror!  Help people become aware of their tone of voice and their body language when they appear negative or angry.  Sometimes we have an “attitude” but we are blind to it.  Gently asking, “Gee, you seem totally stressed”, or “You seem angry, can I help?” can get this important point across before a bad attitude infects more and more people that day.  On the flip side, if you come to work in a bad mood with a scowl on your face (and you can’t shake it), tell the people you work closely with that you’re in a bad mood but it has nothing to do with them.  That heads off problems. Be aware of common postures and body language that you might do that sends the wrong signal like arms crossing, hands on hips, turning your back on people, etc.
4. Be Direct!  Communicate directly to the person you have a problem with, don’t just gossip and complain to others.  The best, fastest resolution to problems or misunderstandings is to work it out as soon as possible, and to do so face to face with the person at issue.  E-Mail is not direct, even if it is one-to-one.  No e-mail should be written and sent in anger, and cc’ing lots of people on an angry e-mail is even worse.  Venting to your manager is acceptable, and having your manager help you mediate or facilitate a face to face session (if you think this will help) is good, and is considered direct.  Gossip and complaining doesn’t help, and just gets more people in a negative mood.  Taking a short break in a “hot” or stressful meeting/situation to avoid a blow-up is ok here, but walking away from a conflict angry and ignoring it (“clamming up”) is not good and is not direct.  Certainly back channel retaliation or other “corporate politics” games are verboten and are not acceptable in this company.  Of course, if a manager has an issue with a non-manager in another department, it’s often best to check with their manager first, especially if it could be a serious issue, or dealing with the issue could eat up a lot of the work day.
5. Solutions, Please!  While we must acknowledge and understand our problems, most of our time should be spent on solutions.  Placing blame and finger pointing is always counter-productive.  We do hold all our teammates accountable, and we are all responsible for doing the best job we can.  Performance reviews have their place, but it is not in the heat of battle or during the day to day work we do.  “How can I help” is the mindset that we should all have most of the time.
6. Respectful Debates!  Debate different perspectives in a forthright and respectful manner.  Participants need to get together, think of the COMPANY’s best interests, and work out a solution that is best for the company.  The debate can be done calmly or even intensely, but it should never become personal.  They must be good sports and cheerfully abide by the negotiated decision.
7. That’s a Surprise!  Keep people informed.  With the kind of environment we desire, there will be cross-functional teams and projects that take us out of our normal work teams.  Keep those that need to know in the loop so that he/she knows where the time is going, and can adjust your work load appropriately.
8. Keep Promises & Communicate!  Keep promises and commitments that you make to others, on time.  The company is getting bigger, and everyone’s schedules are getting more complex.  Three or four departments often work together to meet a goal, and if one person or department ignores or misses a deadline it causes havoc.  Communicate quickly if you’re going to miss a target or be late, so expectations (and schedule) can be adjusted.
9. No Promises for Others!  Don’t commit other people to something without talking to them first.  Everyone is busy, and everyone is working hard to meet time commitments that they have already made.  If you have a need, or are talking to a customer or prospect with a request, you must check with those who will be doing the work so that we do not over promise and under deliver.  Customer needs are always very important, and we must be ready to work hard to serve our customer, but we must not make ourselves so crazy in the process that we destroy our long term productivity.
10. Recognition Please!  Offer recognition for things people do well.  A pat on the back is always appreciated.  Make sure you notice when people do it right, and tell them (and others) that you’ve noticed!

How will this Code be monitored?  Each and every person must take responsibility for their own behavior, and must also help others to see when they fail to live up to the code.

Yet everyone must understand that these are aspirations for behavior.  People will not always live up to this code, and we must expect occasional lapses.  Those lapses must be addressed quickly and with kindness.  If you witness a breach of this code, please call it out by saying the “catch phrase” in bold above.  Be clear about it, but avoid blaming.  Using an “I statement” is best, after all, it’s your perception.  A brief discussion may be in order, but then move back to the meeting topic.  If the same person keeps breaching the code, please discuss this with your manager.

For May and June, the management team will be practicing adhering to the code, and we will not broadcast this code to the rest of the company.  We want to be sure we are walking our talk.  At the end of June (sooner if we all agree and are broadly adhering to the code), we will introduce this to the whole company.

We will also periodically do a survey to see how we are doing.  Rob Sher will do the first few, then HR will take this over.

Quality of Relationships Survey:

1. How great of a place is “CompanyName” to work, based solely on the quality of the interactions with the people you work with? (5 is great, 1 is poor)
2. Compare the people at “CompanyName” to all the other places you’ve ever worked with.  Rank how well we’re doing regarding the quality of your interactions with people. Is this the best workplace you’ve ever had?  Second best?
3. In the past week, about how many times have you seen or heard our code of conduct violated?
4. Please identify anyone that seems to be continually breaking the code of conduct who hasn’t responded to the team’s efforts.  Your identity is known to me (Robert Sher), but please tell me how confidential you want me to keep your comment — my bias is to take action to try and help the situation.
5. Please tell me any ideas you have about this code of conduct initiative, or any feedback at all related to this effort.