Back Away from the Keyboard…

Posted on February 11, 2008

E-mail is easy, but it can be a blessing or a curse. Sometimes relying on the quick fix of email is a mistake. Here are the common abuses and the communication alternatives that can serve you better.

To e-mail is so easy. In under a minute, we can tap, tap, tap on the keyboard a hasty message and immediately deliver it. Those quick messages can be angry, misspelled, poorly written, unclear, misunderstood or incorrect. But it’s safe in the short term. We don’t have to immediately face the effects of our e-mails since we’re not present when our message arrives. E-Mail is both good and bad.

Most businesses look for long-term relationships with customers and suppliers. Every communication with those key customers and suppliers either helps or hurts the relationship. Deciding how to communicate each time is a big issue. The most common mistake today is that people overuse e-mail, and underuse their phone.

Two-way oral communication builds relationships

The phone was built for two-way communication. Both parties can hear attitudes, seek clarification, and tend to the other party’s emotions. In the worst case, we get voicemail. That makes it one-way communication; but still, they can hear our tone of voice, and we are communicating orally, which is the way most people communicate best.

E-mail is only a one-way, written communication tool. I love e-mail, and it has helped me in business in many ways. But we must keep e-mail in its place. Misused, e-mail costs thousands of dollars. Here are some of the biggest e-mail mistakes, most of which are avoided by use of the phone.

1. Tackling emotion-laden issues via e-mail. Few people have the skill or take the time to craft a letter or e-mail that deals with emotional issues properly. Most of the time these e-mails offend, and the offended party saves the e-mail so they can be offended over and over again! Then they hit the reply button and return the favor. This is no way to grow relationships.

2. Compounding the confusion by copying the e-mail to lots of people. Not only can you now offend many people at once, but each can understand what you wrote differently, and each can reply to all recipients of the e-mail with their unique misunderstanding, requiring big, long e-mails with clarifications and apologies—which wastes time, too.

3. Losing the opportunity for chit-chat. Not that I’m the world’s biggest chit-chatter, but on the phone, and in person particularly, you have a chance to be human, to show interest in the other person, or to whine about the weather. This is important to every relationship, but is usually skipped in e-mail, and doesn’t seem nearly as real in writing.

4. Losing the opportunity to “up sell.” If you are on the sales side, every two-way conversation is a golden opportunity. Maybe it’s to mention how this one product is so hot right now you can hardly make it fast enough. That may bring you an inquiry about which product it is—and of course, you have to send them a picture to show them, with a sample to follow.

5. Trying to figure things out. If you are trying to understand something, don’t do it via e-mail with ten cc’s! If you detail your mistaken assumptions, they may still be read as the truth by some (even if you are clear). It’s best to call a quick meeting (in person or via phone), figure it all out courtesy of two-way communication, then write one carefully drafted e-mail with all the conclusions and facts for everyone to read and save.

Why Two-Way Communication Works So Well

Two-way communication is where relationships grow for a number of reasons. A relationship grows when an event or an exchange makes both parties feel better about the relationship.

1. We can hear the immediate reaction from the other person. They can ask questions.
2. We can listen or watch for signs of how they are feeling. Tone of voice, facial expressions, tempo of the conversation, body language – all add immensely to our understanding of the situation and our ability to affect the outcome.
3. Saying the wrong thing can be recovered from, and will not be repeated (or re-read, like an e-mail).
4. We can tend to the other person’s emotions or needs immediately. We will have a strong feeling for how the other person came away from the exchange, which is very important.

E-mail has its uses! Communicating details and facts is a perfect use for one-way communication. Addresses, purchase orders, quick questions, to-do lists, specifications, follow-up from meetings, and more. One-way communication, of which e-mail is now the most common in business, helps get business done when it deals with facts, but never emotions.

In summary, e-mail should never be an automatic choice. If it’s an important relationship you’re nurturing, think about the value of an old fashioned conversation, and reach for the phone.

Takeaways:

• Selection of your communication medium is an important choice, but many people default to e-mail without thinking.
• Two-way oral communication has become way underused, and is a powerful tool in many cases.
• Train your organization to communicate in the most effective manner for each circumstance.